How You Might Be Annoying Me: Selected Examples

Slurping your gazpacho.

Consistently referring to San Francisco as “Frisco.”

Confusing the terms “fiction” and “nonfiction.”

Consuming a large bowl of diced Spanish onions and then close-talking to me about your stamp collection.

Advising me that you know coffee, and that’s not coffee.

Not allowing me to finish my answer to your question and then getting upset with me because I failed to answer your question satisfactorily.

Calling all brands of flavored, carbonated beverages “Coke.”

Suddenly adopting an accent when pronouncing the name of any Latin American country or author.

Reminding me for the umpteenth time this week that Jesus loves me, when I know for a fact that he does not.