Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Am I Crunking Properly?

As far as I can tell, I’m doing it pretty well.

I crunk at parties, I join in when people around me crunk, and I avoid crunking at work if I can possibly help it (especially when the district manager is visiting!).

I think next I’m going to try crunking in front of my girlfriend and see what happens. We’ve been going out for about six months, and I think she knows me pretty well. Her reaction should be positive.

I’m committed to crunk. When not crunking, I think about its various permutations. For instance, if celebrity chef Bobby Flay crunked, what would it involve? Probably Anaheim chiles and tomatillos! It would be delicious.

Of course, I’m no expert at it. If my crunking seems excessive at a given time, would getting buck wild be an acceptable substitution? What about acting the fool? I definitely don't want to embarrass myself or those around me.

I think it’s wrong to judge people based on their crunk. We should all try to remember the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If crunking had been around in Biblical times, Jesus would have crunked. Absolutely.

If Crunk turned out to be the name of the first really cool caveman, I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest.

As for me, I plan on crunking until the day I die. Unless, of course, something better comes along that really catches my fancy, like the Macarena, or shooting smack.


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