Friday, June 17, 2005

Plausible Rock ‘N’ Roll Conversations

1968. England. Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, just before the band is about to perform “Sympathy For The Devil” at their “Rock ‘N’ Roll Circus” extravaganza.

MICK JAGGER: Say Keith, remember that deal we made with the Devil?

KEITH RICHARDS [tuning his guitar]: The what?

MICK: That deal that we all made with the Devil, to make us really famous by granting us awesome riffs and crazy lyrics?

KEITH [confused, indifferent]: Yeah. What? Who?

MICK: Well, the Devil came to me last night and said that we have to whip the crowd into such a frenzy that they give their souls over to Him in devout worship, or else he’ll kill one of the band members.

KEITH: OK.

MICK: Oh. You’re OK with that? I thought you’d be a little pissed.

KEITH: About what?

MICK: About hypnotizing the audience members to do the Dark Lord’s bidding.

KEITH: Do you know where the Jack Daniel’s is?

MICK: Are you listening to me, Keith? So . . . I painted crazy goat faces on my chest and arms, so that the audience will bow down to me, and will, then, in effect, be bowing down to the Hoary King of the Netherworld.

KEITH: Sure. [turns to go on stage, pauses] Wait. He’s not gonna kill Charlie is he?

MICK: What? No. He said he’d kill—

KEITH: Fine. Whatever. Let’s just play the song, Mick.

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