How You Might Be Annoying Me: Selected Examples

Using your straw as a spoon to eat your vanilla milkshake and making a sucking sound with each “bite.”

Wearing a Tom Brady #12 jersey when you’re obviously not Tom Brady.

Asking other adults how excited they are about the new Harry Potter novel on an almost hourly basis.

Replying to every request of mine with “Not a problem” while clicking your tongue and then making a pistol-like shooting gesture with your index finger and thumb.

Referring to spaghetti as “pahsketti.”

In addition, referring to all sugary, brown carbonated beverages as “Coke.”

Being Billy Corgan.